What happens in Vegas stays, well....IN VEGAS!!!

Last month Marianne and I decided to go on a mini road trip to St. George/Vegas over President's Day weekend.  The decision was made very last minute and that made for an interesting adventure.

We headed out after work on Friday.  One of our friends in the ward was coincidentally going down to her parents winter home in Washington and she let us tag along so we had a place to stay.  Her name is Sachi.  Three other people were going with her and we didn't know two of them.  We wouldn't all fit in one car so Marianne and I decided to drive separately.  Have you ever done the drive to Southern Utah from Salt Lake?  It's not that bad of a drive but at night time it's quite boring.  Thankfully, Marianne and I took turns.

So we get there Friday night and are introduced to the two very attractive boys.  Andrew and Aaron.  We all just kinda talk that night.  Nothing spectacular or anything.

Oh wait.  It was Valentine's Day weekend too.  Earlier I made the raspberry lemon cupcakes that I learned to make in Arizona over the summer.  I took some to my visiting teachees and then to Jake and Brad.  Those are two boys in our ward.  One has a girlfriend and the other I would date in a heartbeat but he's stupid (because he doesn't ask girls out!!!).

Anyway, we went to bed late Friday night and slept in on Saturday.  Although, small fact about me.  Even though I'm not a morning person, when I am on vacation or in someone else's home I can't sleep in.  I always wake up as the first rays of sunlight.  Sometime's it's real annoying.  I didn't sleep in as much as I would have liked but heck, we were pretty close to St. George and it was a gorgeous morning!  Sachi was so cute and made us an adorable Valentine's Day breakfast.  It was delicious!

Andrew was kind enough to take this picture for the group.

After breakfast, we all went our separate ways.  Sachi, Michelle, Andrew, and Aaron were going to hike Zions National Park.  Marianne and I headed down to Vegas for the night.

We got to Vegas and drove by our hotel.  Only, it was a hostel.  Yes, you read that right.  We stayed in a freaking hostel!  More on that later!  The weather was beautiful.  It was in the 70's!!  The first thing we did were the rides on top of the Stratosphere.

This is me at the very top.  I didn't get a lot of exciting pictures.  I was kinda bummed.  But it was high up and we went on all three rides.  It was fun!  Though there is a spinny ride and we did that one last.  It made me sick.

When we were done with the Stratosphere we went to grab dinner.  We ate at Smashburger.  I didn't really like the place.  Also, I was feeling the dizziness from the ride earlier so that might have been a contributing factor.  We got lost in Caesar's Palace.  I HATE THAT PLACE!!  Okay, maybe I don't.  But we got lost for a very long time.  We kept going around in circles.  We couldn't find our way out.  It is built like a labyrinth.  Ugghhh!  I have no idea how people find exits.  It took us more time than I will admit to make it outside (and I really wanted to go outside.  There was tons of smoke inhalation...we are in Vegas in a Casino after all...).  We finally reached outside and walked down the strip.  We made it to the Bellagio and witnessed the amazing water show they put on.  Some day I will stay in the Bellagio.  Even if it's just for one night.  It will happen!  That hotel is so elegant.  Oh in between finding the outside we did buy jeggings at H&M.  I had no idea they were jeggings.  If I had known I wouldn't have picked them.  It wasn't until the dressing room and so I tried them on and love them!

This is in the parking lot of Caesar's Palace.  Real classy dude, real classy.

The Eiffel Tower in Vegas

 We walked the strip for a while and then headed back to Caesar's Palace.  We made an emergency trip to the Walgreen's on the strip and let me tell you.  Everything there is over priced!!

It was probably close to midnight by the time we made it back to our hostel.  The place seemed quite shady and we contemplated driving back to Washington.  Not only did the guy at the counter tell us one of our reservations had been cancelled but he then tried to get us to sleep in separate rooms.  The hostel we had reserved was a room of girls only.  He told me he didn't have an extra bed for one of us (me) but that he could put me in the mixed room.  UMMMM, NOO!!!  We almost left but then Marianne made him feel stupid by asking to see our reservation and it said on there it was for two females in an all female room!!  So the idiot let us be in the same room together.  I slept like poop and I know Marianne did too.  Here's a picture of our beds.  Yes, they were bunk beds.  It reminded me of a bunker.  I've never actually been in one of those.

We woke up bright and early.  Really.  It was 6:30 and we were both wide awake.  We quickly got ready in our church clothes, naturally as it was Sunday, and left by 7:30.  We did not want to spend more time than necessary in that place.  We wanted to go to a ward in Vegas.  I don't know if you know but Marianne LOVES Brandon Flowers.  The lead singer from the Killers.  He lives in Vegas and a few weeks before some of Marianne's friends just so happened to attend the ward BF goes to.  They met him.  Told Marianne so it only made sense that we make the attempt to see him as well.  The ward didn't start until 11 or 12.  I can't remember.  We had hours to kill before then.  We decided to go to the Vegas airport.  We parked in the Walmart parking lot and watched planes land.  I took a nap and felt much safer there than I did the night before at the hostel.  Let's just say I will never be that adventurous again.  The hostel situation anyway.  We were so ready to go to church.  After having spent an evening on the strip and being in that creepy hostel going to a place that was familiar was refreshing.  I try not to take the Gospel for granted in my life.  I really do but sometimes it happens.  I was so grateful that Sunday morning to be able to partake of the sacrament and feel the Spirit.  Not that we hadn't felt it before on our trip.  It just was great being in church surrounded by the Saints of God.  The Lord tells us to be in the world but to not be of the world.  I love that the Gospel is the same everywhere you go.  No matter the language, the state or even country.  The Gospel doesn't change and when the Gospel is in someone's life the way they act is the same also.  People are full of love and kindness.  They have the light of Christ shining on their countenance.  We didn't stay for the whole meeting.  We left after sacrament where unfortunately, we did not see BF.  :(  I told Marianne that meant we would have to make another attempt soon.  

When we got back to St. George we met up with the other group.  We all headed to the Visitor's Center and watched Meet the Mormons.  I loved being back there and seeing the sister missionaries.  It always bring such great memories.  I loved serving there!

This is how we ended the night!

Back at Sachi's parents house we all stayed up and chatted for hours.  We played a few games: Battle of the Sexes and 5 Second Rule.  I didn't really like Battle of the Sexes but I sure loved 5 Second Rule!  You have 5 seconds to name 3 things that correspond with the question on the card.  It really makes you think on your feet.  Some of the questions: Name three mountain ranges.  Name three books.  Name three George's.  Things like that.  It was so fun and hilarious!!  We also made an after midnight trip to McDonald's where it took 10 years to get our food.  Poor girl that worked there.  I have never eaten so much McDonald's in my life.  I had my quote for the year and if I never have to go to another McDonald's again, I would be fine with it.

Monday morning was pretty chill.  We went to breakfast down in Ivins at a place called Xeteva Gardens.  It's pretty hipsterish.  Very healthy.  It was good!

Then we played some tennis and I made a fool out of myself.  I keep thinking I should ask Aaron...he's the guy I'm standing next to in the picture above to help me out.  He went pretty soft on me when we played doubles.  That was kind of him.  Haha.

So that's part of what I've been up to the last little while.  It definitely was a fun trip and it was so great getting to know those lovely ladies (Michelle and Sachi) better.  And it was definitely great to make two new very attractive male friends.  Though in case you're wondering we haven't hung out with them since we got back.

Also, just so you know I couldn't sleep.  I've been up since 6:35 Utah time which makes it 5:35 Arizona time.  

Busy as a Bee

Where have I been, you might ask?

Oh well, here and there, and everywhere.  Not too much has happened.  Just enough to keep me busy as a bee.  I feel like I haven't had time to catch my breath.  It's all been good things.  Fun things.

You have no idea how many times I have attempted to blog only to be interrupted by something far better.  Well, and sometimes not that much better but something that needs to get done.

Don't you worry though!  After this Saturday, I should hopefully have time to write about all of the activities keeping me busy.

In the meantime, here's a little teaser:

Is that me next to a boy??

Why yes, yes it is.

God Be With You Till We Meet Again

I've been thinking a lot these last few days.  About life.  About family.  About the Gospel.

I was in Arizona this last weekend for some "family" stuff that needed to be taken care of.  The outcome was a success but for me it remained stagnant.  12 years since the very first time and still nothing has changed.  I wanted to celebrate with my family-my parents.  They were so happy and it was a triumph that was desperately needed.  Great things are now in store for my parents.  If anyone deserves the outcome it's them.  All the tears, frustrations, late nights, calls, prayers, fasts, hopes, wishes, copies of paperwork, letters of recommendation, and thousands of dollars later, ALL finally coming together in perfect harmony to grant what was most desired.  I'm so grateful for my parents.  They have taught me to never give up despite the opposition we face and the circumstances we are in.  The weekend in Arizona finally blooming a rose amid the thorns.

Monday morning I awoke to the news of my paternal grandfather passing away.  I didn't really know him.  He lived in Guatemala and I live here.  I was surprised to find myself feeling sadder than I thought.  I don't know if it had to do with the fact that I never really got the chance to know him.  To really truly know the great man that he was.  Or perhaps I was sad because my dad was literally weeks away from seeing him again since moving to the US in 1992.  They hadn't seen each other in over 20 years.  They were so close and yet it was not to be.  My dad sent out a text to us all that made me once again grateful to be his daughter.

"I want to let you know that my father passed away a few minutes ago.  Don't worry, I am fine.  Fortunately, I have a testimony of eternal families.  It hurts but I am happy because now he will be with my mother."

Or perhaps my Grandfather's death hit me with a realization that people die.  People I know, people I love, people I talk to every day, people close to me, people far from me.  People, in general, all over the world die.  I've said this before but I have been fortunate enough to live 27 years of my life without the death of someone really close to me.  I fear that soon that luck will change.  I keep asking myself if I will be like my daddy and not just believe in The Plan of Salvation but trust in it.

Later that night, I went to my Aunt Gilda's house.  I knew she was going to have a hard time and I felt that I should be there.  We didn't leave on the best of terms because she's freakin' crazy.  But she is my family and I am hers and we needed each other at that time.  We held a special FHE via skype with my family in Arizona.  Those who had the opportunity to know and meet my Grandfather shared stories of him and his life.  The Spirit confirmed to me that evening that my Grandfather had lived a wonderful life.  I was filled with gratitude that I was his granddaughter and a part of his great legacy.  Not just his but also my Grandma who passed away in 2008 and whom I also never had the opportunity to know.  My Grandparents were stalwart in their testimony of the Gospel.  They sacrificed much for what they knew was true.  They gave away everything they had to be obedient to the Lord.  They were poor, extremely poor but they brought their nine children to the Mesa, Arizona Temple and were sealed together for eternity.  They served an honorable full time mission.  There is no doubt in anyone's mind that my Grandparents loved the Lord.

As I've pondered on the events that have occurred in the last week one quote has come into my mind over and over.  It's by Elder Uchtdorf.

"...We are made of the stuff of eternity.  We are eternal being, children of the Almighty God, whose name is Endless and who promises eternal blessings without number.  Endings are not our destiny.  The more we learn about the Gospel of Jesus Christ, the more we realize that endings here in mortality are not endings at all.  They are merely interruptions-temporary pauses that one day will seem small compared to the eternal joy awaiting the faithful.  How grateful I am to my Heavenly Father that in His plan there are no true endings, only everlasting beginnings."

I testify to you that I know The Plan of Salvation is real.  We can be with our loved ones again after this life.  Someday, I will get to talk to my Grandparents-hear their stories, laugh with them, cry with them, hug them, thank them for their example, and say "I love you."  

Hello 2015

Happy New Year!

2015 is going to be great.  I can feel it in my bones.  To start off the year, I have chosen a new word to focus on this year.  GRATITUDE.

"Have we not reason to be filled with gratitude, regardless of the circumstances in which we find ourselves?"

Yes, yes.  I believe we all have reasons to be grateful.  So this year my focus will be on showing gratitude to not only Heavenly Father for the many marvelous things he has given and continues to give me, but I will also focus on showing gratitude to those people around me.  My family, my friends, my coworkers, my leaders.

I've spent too long focusing on things I want but don't have.  My attitude must change.  My life is filled with greatness.  I have many wonderful friends.  I have a job I love.  I live in a beautiful area.  I have a crazy but fantastic family.  I am blessed and I am thankful for it all.

This year I will be grateful in my circumstances and for my circumstances.  I will be better at showing people how grateful I am to have them in my life.  I will express sincere appreciation for those things that bring me happiness.  I will take the time to appreciate the beauty that is around me.

I will use the inspired talk President Uchtdorf gave in the April 2014 General Conference titled, "Grateful in Any Circumstance".

Goodbye 2014

2014 was literally the hardest year of my life.  Okay, maybe I exaggerate a little, but honestly, this year was tough on me.  I was tried spiritually, emotionally, physically, socially, educationally, and financially.  There are probably other "ally's" I'm missing too.

Remember how I chose "courage" as my word of the year?  Boy, I had no idea the real adventure heading my way.

It took courage for me to move to Provo and stay there all semester.  Especially when all I wanted was to leave.
It took courage for me to attend church week after week in Arizona even though I was ignored.
It took courage for me to quit my job at Kramer Law Group, after three years of running the place.
It took courage for me to move back to Utah in November.
Courage to let others in created new friendships in my life.
Courage to say yes to one blind date led to a great evening with David Archuleta.
Elder Holland tells us that there is no higher manifestation of moral courage than is an honest declaration of faith ("Lord, I Believe').  I can attest that many times this year I needed courage to exercise faith and trust in the Lord.

As goes the quote by Mary Anne Radmacher, "Courage doesn't always roar.  Sometimes courage is the little voice at the end of the day that says I'll try again tomorrow."

2014, good riddance!

Oldest Child Syndrome

My little sister is engaged!!  She's getting married!  

I'm really excited for her.  It's crazy to believe.  Not hard to believe.  Just crazy.  We all knew it was going to happen soon.  Now it has and I'm really looking forward to helping her get everything planned for the big day.  

I like her fiancee.  I think he's a good guy.  He loves Linda and makes her happy.  That's what matters.

Now, I don't want to make this a post about me but I need to vent.  I've always been the subject of ridicule in my family.  There is always something to make fun of me about.  Whether it's my nerdiness in school, my lack of a social life, my flat chest, my height, having no friends, ex-boyfriends, my social awkwardness, my love for reading, or my single life.  I try my best at taking it like a champ.  Sometimes I do great and sometimes I don't.  Tonight was one of those not so good times.

Everyone has always "joked" that Linda will get married before me.  It's always been expected.  I've never had a problem with that and it doesn't hurt my feelings.  I have learned to expect marriage jokes on my behalf.  I often get told by everyone-aunts, uncles, cousins, grandparents included-that I'm never going to get married.  I know that at every family event I attend, that phrase will come out of someone's mouth.  And that's okay.  But sometimes I take it really hard.  Sometimes it comes out not as a joke but as a truth each person has already accepted.  It's as if they've lost hope that I will ever find someone who will want to be with me.  It's not a joke to them, even when they say it is.  No one ever says they know I'll get married.  That part only comes up when I get upset.  And I feel they say it because they feel bad that I've gotten upset.

The only person I could trust not to say a joke like that was my dad.  My dad has always been my number one supporter in this whole marriage ordeal.  He's always been the one to have my back and tell me that it will happen when the time is right.  But tonight, he cracked the joke.  And for the first time ever, I believed it.  If my dad believes it now, there must be some truth to it.  Right?

I've learned something.  I've learned that jokes come from small fleeting thoughts.  Some jokes even come from truths.  Apparently, everyone in my family has had the same thought.  That I will never get married.  And that is what hurts my feelings.  Not the jokes.  What hurts is the fact that when they start talking about marriage the first thing they say is that it will never happen to me.  When they look me in the eyes I can already see that they feel sorry for me.  I see the pity on their face and it makes me want to punch them each in the nose.

I don't need their pity.  I don't want their pity.  What I want is for them to have faith and hope that I can get married.  That I am worthy of someones love and that I am capable of loving someone in return.  Because I don't feel like they believe any of that is possible for me.

My sister is engaged and I knew it was going to happen.  I know that I have a long road ahead of me full of jokes and questions about this subject.  It's only natural when the younger sister gets married before the older one.  Lucky me! 

But really, I am blessed to be single at this time in my life.  The First Presidency and Quorum of the Twelve Apostles have spoken to the young single adults of the church and have told them how lucky we are to have these great opportunities before us.  Many young single adults serve in capacities that married couples can't, especially when they have children.  Young single adults are in a stage of life where they can reach out and help build others up.  

One of my favorite talks is by President Ezra Taft Benson.  He gave it to the young single adult sisters of the church in October 1988.  Here are some of the things he says,

"Single adult sisters throughout the church, I want you to know of my deep love and appreciation for you-for your goodness, for your faithfulness, for your desire to serve the Lord with all your heart 'that Christ's true light through [you] will shine..., his name to glorify.'

We see so many of you living Christlike lives worthy of emulation and giving such dedicated service  in the Church.

We see wise bishops and stake presidents calling you single adult sisters to leadership responsibilities in wards and stakes.  We see you in the presidencies of Relief Society, Young Women, and Primary organizations, where your talents and abilities are being fully utilized.  We see you as a vital part of the mainstream body of the Church.  We pray that the emphasis we naturally place on families will not make you feel less needed or less valuable to the Lord or to His Church.  The sacred bonds of Church membership go far beyond marital status, age, or present circumstance.  Your individual worth as a daughter of God transcends all.  

I also recognize that not all women in the Church will have an opportunity for marriage and motherhood in mortality.  But if those of you in this situation are worthy and endure faithfully, you can be assured of all blessings from a kind and loving Heavenly Father-and I emphasize all blessings.  I assure you that if you have to wait even until the next life to be blessed with a choice companion, God will surely compensate you.  Time is numbered only to man.  God has your eternal perspective in mind.  

Realize your personal self-worth.  Never demean yourself.  Realize the strength of your inner self and that, with God's help, you can 'do all things through Christ which strengtheneth [you].' )Philippians 4:1.)  Life does not begin only upon marriage.  There are important things for you to do right now."  

My family, especially my brother, would do well reading this talk. 

Reflection

I've had a hard time starting this post.  Nothing I write feels right. 

Last night I learned that someone I went to high school with committed suicide a few weeks ago.  It broke my heart. 

Brad grew up on the other side of the street in our neighborhood.  He was never my friend.  He would hang out with my brothers, sometimes playing baseball in the grass field by the mailboxes.  Brad was weird.  He didn't have fine features.  He walked funny and he wasn't very smart.  He wasn't the type of person I associated with.  

As I heard the news last night I cried.  I cried for him, for his family, and the missed opportunities.  My heart aches knowing I could have done more but never did.  I could have been nicer.  I could have invited him to church.  I could have smiled more.  I could have said hi more often.  Simply, I could have acknowledged his existence in this life.  But I didn't.  I didn't.  And it breaks my heart to think that Brad had no one to turn to when his heart was aching.  

I know it's not my fault this happened.  I don't have any idea of the things going on in Brad's life.  We've been out of high school coming up on 10 years now and I can't even tell you when I saw him last.  In fact, I don't know that I could recognize Brad if he was walking down the street today.  I know life happens and everyone goes their separate ways.  I believe God doesn't expect us to stay in contact with every person we meet during our lifetime.  It's just not possible.  But I believe God expects us to see people the way He sees them.  

Last night was hard for me.  Not because I lost a good friend.  It was hard for me because some day, I will stand before God and I will be judged by the works I did here on this earth.  I will see all of the times I ignored Brad.  I will see all of the times I had condescending remarks to say about him. There will not be one scene in which I treated him the way the Savior would have.  Brad left this earth thinking that I could not care less about him.  He was probably right and that hurts my heart.  Perhaps in the end it wouldn't have made a difference.  I don't know.

We often underestimate the power our words and actions can have in other people.  We think that the way we act affects only us or those close around us.  In reality, our words and actions can leave profound and lasting effects in everyone we come in contact with.  Even those we meet for a brief second in time.

I love the quote attributed to Maya Angelou, an African American civil rights activist.  She says, "People will forget what you said.  People will forget what you did.  But people will never forget how you made them feel."

As I've reflected on my interaction with Brad, I've been sorrowful.  I can't turn back time and change what occurred.  Brad is gone now.  A life taken too early.  I know some day I will see him again.  When I do, I hope to apologize for what I didn't do.  

I'm grateful for a loving Heavenly Father who knew that I would fail miserably.  He knew I would be mean and prideful.  He knew I would succumb to the natural man.  But he loved me enough to provide a way for me to overcome all of that.  He provided the ability for me to repent-to start over, to try and be a better person.  He gave me the greatest gift anyone could give another being.  He gave me the gift of a Savior-Jesus Christ.  It is through Him that all things will be made right.  Jesus Christ atoned for my sins and Brad's sins.  Jesus Christ can heal our hearts-in whatever state they may be.  He can make them whole.  He has the power to erase my failures.  I know it.  I love Jesus Christ.  I love Heavenly Father.  I know they are real.  I know they care.  I know their heart aches when we choose to turn away from them.  We are important to them.  They love us and will always be there for us.  They will be there to help us find our way when we are lost.  They want us to return to their presence and we can when we obey them and trust in them.  Hope is not lost.  Hope will always be there because of Jesus Christ.

I know Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ love Brad.  I know they understood what was in his heart when he made the decision to end his life.  I know they know my heart too.

I've been thinking lately about this past year.  My word of the year was courage.  Well, I think I did pretty okay.  I'll write that blog post soon.  I just wanted to say that hearing of Brad's suicide helped me decide on my word for next year.  I'll post that soon as well.