The Hales are relatives of mine on my mom's side. The woman I call "Tia Claudia" is actually my mother's first cousin. She is married to Kevin and together they have four of the cutest kids.
I didn't know if they were going to be home. The only thing I knew is that I needed to go over there. I got there, knocked on the door and Kevin answered. The moment I saw him, an overwhelming feeling of peace enfolded me. I explained what was going on and asked him for a blessing. He quickly agreed and gave me one of the most beautiful blessings I've ever received. He sat with me and we spoke. He made me feel important and he showed me true Christlike love. He invited me to stay for dinner and his sweet kids, all four of them, came and gave me hugs. They did magic tricks, cracked jokes, shared stories, and fought over who would sit next to me. I felt at home.
After dinner, her two oldest kids serenaded me. One played the guitar and the other sang. They were great.
Once everyone went to bed, Kevin, my aunt, and I chatted a little while longer and they made sure I felt better before letting me leave.
Since that night, my aunt has checked in on me to make sure I'm doing okay. Today, I had dinner over there and I had that same feeling of being home.
It's tough being away from my family. Some days are harder than others. Even when I know it's the right thing for me in my life at this time. I know I'm missing a lot and I often feel left out. I know it's not their fault. I'm just gone. The longer I'm away the harder it is to maintain a close relationship, or make the effort at communicating, and the easier it is to forget about me.
One of my favorite things while in Arizona was being close. Being there, participating and being a part of my families life. I might never have the relationship I would like to have with each of my siblings. I guess I'm just not sure how to make it better. I try but I often feel that I'm not given a fair chance of showing how much I've changed and matured over the last few years. If there's one thing an Ordonez-Guzman is good at, it's holding a grudge and holding on to the past. Haha. But I never want to regret not trying. Those sibling relationships are some of the most important ones I will have in my life. I never want them to doubt how much each one matters to me.
Kevin often reminds me that I am their only family here and that I'm always invited over. It's comforting to know I have somewhere to turn when I need family. That cold January night, the Hales opened their door to me and in the process without realizing, helped knock down one of the walls surrounding my heart.
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